Balance

For me, I think the hardest thing about trying to pay off debt is finding a good balance. Dave Ramsey encourages his followers to become "gazelle intense" when they start paying off debt, meaning that they only spend money on the absolute essentials (food, shelter, utilities and basic clothing and necessities) and ALL extra money goes toward the debt. A lot of people would call this extreme, and maybe it is, but the fact is, it works. Clearly, the more money you put toward your debt, the faster you will pay it off and the sooner you will become debt free.

The difficulty is that when you live gazelle intense, life isn't very much fun sometimes. Don't get me wrong, you can have a good life without having to spend money all the time, but sometimes spending money can be fun too. Phil and I both really like to shop for two things: clothes, and things for our home. We don't care much about traveling or eating out. We don't buy many (if any) toys for Luke. We don't go to concerts, amusement parks or really anything else that costs money. But we do like to buy nice clothes and nice items for our home. I guess everyone has their thing, right?

So we have made a decision, and that is that we are still going to allow ourselves to buy a few new things for ourselves or our home here and there and we are NOT going to feel guilty about it.

The key to this is discussing it as a couple and having a budget. We have agreed that we both feel ok about setting a little (and I mean little) money aside in our budget each month for us to buy as we please. Talking about it first gets us on the same page and helps us to make sure that neither feel like the other is being unfair. We do want to pay off our debt as quickly as possible, but we also want to feel like its ok to buy something new once in a while without feeling like we have done something wrong.

Our "Home Improvement" budget will vary each month, so if there is something we really need, or want to try to get, we will see if we can work it into the budget when we do our planning. For our "Clothing" budget we have decided that each of us will get $50 a month, and it will roll over to the next month (so if I only spend $20 one month, I get the $30 I didn't spend, plus $50 more the following month).  We are even going to give Luke his own $10 a month clothing budget (not that he knows) because he needs a few new things too once in a while!

I think the key here is learning to be flexible and find a good balance. Not everyone is the same and so not everyone will define "gazelle intense" the same way that Dave Ramsey defines it. That doesn't matter. What really matters it working together for a common goal, and one day soon, achieving it.

Don't compare

Not long ago I wrote a post about why we wouldn't be buying a house yet. I still 100% agree with everything I wrote in that post, and yet I must admit that there are times when I look longingly at other peoples' homes and dream of the day when we will own ours. We live in the most darling community. It is only about 10 years old, so pretty much everything is new construction. We are surrounded by brightly painted craftsmen style homes and modern condos. I love taking Luke for walks in the morning and looking at the cute homes, surrounded by neatly trimmed lawns and only blocks away from parks and community gardens.

Only problem? It's easy to start the comparison game.

When we moved into our apartment, just three months ago, we couldn't stop talking about all the features it had that we loved. Our previous two apartments were much older and therefore a bit run down, not to mention small. This complex was built only 3 years ago, so everything still feels new and clean. Plus, it's big. 1200 square feet, 9 foot ceilings in every room, big windows, an open concept kitchen and living room, wrap around balcony. We felt like we were "living the dream" by finding a place as nice as this.

I now am realizing however, how quickly, if you aren't careful, the charm can wear off, especially if you pay too much attention to what other people have.

The fact is, there will always be someone who has nicer things than us. That's just how the world works, and honestly I'm glad its that way. I wouldn't enjoy my morning walks nearly so much if every house on the street was the same.  Many of the reasons we fell in love with this apartment had to do with the fact that is was different than everywhere we had lived before.

So how do you keep from trying to keep up with the Joneses?

1. Count your blessings. That may sound cliche but its true. When I stop and think about all that we do have right now, I think a lot less about all that we don't have. 
2. Find like-minded friends. "Friends" doesn't have to actually mean people you hang out with (although that's important too). A few of my "friends" that help me keep things in perspective include: bloggers who live a similar lifestyle, books that inspire me, Pinterest boards with decorating ideas for our space, and Dave Ramsey (I know, nerd.)
3. Clean up. I have found that it is more easy to become discontented when our apartment is messy. When I take just a few minutes to clean things up, I see all the charm again that I loved in the beginning. Using a space well will always make you appreciate it more.

I am lucky to live such a good and happy life; I think most of us are. We just have to remember that, and most of all, don't compare.